Sorry it has been a really long time since I have written.  Things in AppleBoy’s life are falling apart.  My house is officially being foreclosed on.  My car has been repossessed.  I am trying to file Chapter 13 so I can at least regroup and start over again but that requires money too.  I am paying $3,600 dollars to file Chapter 13.  I pay $1,600 out of pocket and the rest is included in the Chapter 13 payment.  I am still trying to get all the information together that is needed for the  Chapter 13.  I am scared because I am losing my house and I have lost my car.  I keep trying to remind myself that I am not as bad off as some folks but it is still scary as hell.  I am hoping this weekend to start going through everything I own and tossing out lots of stuff because I am going to be moving into something much much smaller than the already small place I live now.  So as I am trying to plan out what I am doing with my monthly pay check I am freaking out because I need to pay this and that just to keep going till the Chapter 13 stuff happens.  I have to pay the propane bill, the attorney, the power bill, the water bill, and condo fees.  I have to find a car because I cannot keep having people drive me to and from work.  I have to decide where I am moving to and how much money I am going to need to get that all setup.  I am really stressed out and depressed.  I come home I eat  then I go to bed.  I am not really sure how I have managed to keep myself together this far.  I am laughing at the stimulus plan because I am still not sure it is doing anything worth while for anyone except making more debt.  Maybe I should not care but apparently I do.  Yes, I signed the paperwork for my mortgage but I also trusted the bank and my realtor knew what they were doing.  Now I am figuring out that my condo payment, condo fees, taxes and PMI are more than 50% of my net pay and 45% of my gross pay.  Now go figure that!  How in the hell did the bank swing this and get backing for the loan?  Why is it that when I asked for help from the bank they pretty much said your expenses are to high and refused to help.  I am a human being damn it!  I am something!  I am not a nothing!  I have feelings!  I am not a bad person!  So I still question why me!  So there is a quick throw of what is going on in my head at the moment.  I am now going to bed because like I told my friend I hand my depression better while sleeping.  I will try to write more about this whirlwind I am going through.